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This was war, and with how Malark was behaving, one would be forgiven for thinking he was using it as an opportunity to write a new ballad.Qiao said a salient prayer to Lathander as she saw General Grodan approaching. “Himo,” she said to the wood elf who sat cross-legged among the group of soldiers, sword for hires and adventurers. Himo had a way of being able to meditate almost anywhere and frequently waited until the last possible moment to rouse herself from her peaceful practice. Qiao did not want the General to think they were taking this less than seriously, and that was hard enough with Malark strumming on his lute.Himo rose from her lotus position in a graceful motion without using her hands. She always moved fluidly, even for an elf. “General Grodan, hero of the battle of Raven Rock,” Himo said formally, nodding towards him.He grunted non-committedly as Marlark’s lute quieted. “Listen up, I don’t have time to repeat myself,” the older man said. “The horde has split up. Some. ”Paddy goes to the doctor with a problem.“So, Paddy, what’s the matter?” asked the doc.“Well it’s like this, I’ve got 9 kids already and I don’t need the wife pregnant again. What’ll I do, I got enough.”“I can put your wife on the pill” the doc says.“The what.”“You know, the contraceptive pill. But you must wear a rubber for a month till she becomes protected”“A what? A rubber what?”“You obviously haven’t a clue what I’m on about, here duck into this alley, I happen to have on one means I’ll show you how to wear it. And remember, don’t take it off.”So the doc gets him to drop his dacks, then proceeds to put a Durex rubber on for him, then sends him on his way.Some months later, the doctor sees Paddy coming towards him, “good day, Paddy, how things.”Paddy charges up and belts the doc on the nose, “you and your bloody contra-whatever’s and flaming rubber whatsits, the wife’s bloody pregnant again.”“She shouldn’t be, I told you to wear a rubber.”“I did, in fact I’ve still got it on.”“You.
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